Metanoia: A New Vision Of Nature

Rupert Sheldrake: The Extended Mind

Interviews with Dr. Stanislav Grof

Interview on "Thinking Allowed", by Jeffrey Mishlove, from the series "Roots of Consciousness":

Interview on "Present!":

"2012: A Time For Change", Daniel Pinchback interviews Stanislav Grof:

Terence McKenna, interviewed in Hawaii, October 1998

Carl Gustav Jung - Wisdom Of The Dream documentary

Part 1: A Life Of Dreams

Part 2: Inheritance Of Dreams

Part 3: A World Of Dreams

Michael Talbot (1953-1992) - Holografski svemir

The Universe as a Hologram
by Michael Talbot

Does Objective Reality Exist, or is the Universe a Phantasm?

In 1982 a remarkable event took place. At the University of Paris a research team led by physicist  Alain Aspect performed what may turn out to be one of the most important experiments of the 20th century. You did not hear about it on the evening news. In fact, unless you are in the habit of reading scientific journals you probably have never even heard Aspect's name, though there are some who believe his discovery may change the face of science.
Aspect and his team discovered that under certain circumstances subatomic particles such as electrons are able to instantaneously communicate with each other regardless of the distance separating them. It doesn't matter whether they are 10 feet or 10 billion miles apart. Somehow each particle always seems to know what the other is doing. The problem with this feat is that it violates Einstein's long-held tenet that no communication can travel faster than the speed of light. Since traveling faster than the speed of light is tantamount to breaking the time barrier, this daunting prospect has caused some physicists to try to come up with elaborate ways to explain away Aspect's findings. But it has inspired others to offer even more radical explanations. 

University of London physicist David Bohm, for example, believes Aspect's findings imply that objective reality does not exist, that despite its apparent solidity the universe is at heart a phantasm, a gigantic and splendidly detailed hologram. 
To understand why Bohm makes this startling assertion, one must first understand a little about holograms. A hologram is a three- dimensional photograph made with the aid of a laser. To make a hologram, the object to be photographed is first bathed in the light of a laser beam. Then a second laser beam is bounced off the reflected light of the first and the resulting interference pattern (the area where the two laser beams commingle) is captured on film. When the film is developed, it looks like a meaningless swirl of light and dark lines. But as soon as the developed film is illuminated by another laser beam, a three-dimensional image of the original object appears. 
The three-dimensionality of such images is not the only remarkable characteristic of holograms. If a hologram of a rose is cut in half and then illuminated by a laser, each half will still be found to contain the entire image of the rose. Indeed, even if the halves are divided again, each snippet of film will always be found to contain a smaller but intact version of the original image. Unlike normal photographs, every part of a hologram contains all the information possessed by the whole. 
The "whole in every part" nature of a hologram provides us with an entirely new way of understanding organization and order. For most of its history, Western science has labored under the bias that the best way to understand a physical phenomenon, whether a frog or an atom, is to dissect it and study its respective parts. A hologram teaches us that some things in the universe may not lend themselves to this approach. If we try to take apart something constructed holographically, we will not get the pieces of which it is made, we will only get smaller wholes. 
This insight suggested to Bohm another way of understanding Aspect's discovery. Bohm believes the reason subatomic particles are able to remain in contact with one another regardless of the distance separating them is not because they are sending some sort of mysterious signal back and forth, but because their separateness is an illusion. He argues that at some deeper level of reality such particles are not individual entities, but are actually extensions of the same fundamental something. 
To enable people to better visualize what he means, Bohm offers the following illustration. Imagine an aquarium containing a fish. Imagine also that you are unable to see the aquarium directly and your knowledge about it and what it contains comes from two television cameras, one directed at the aquarium's front and the other directed at its side. As you stare at the two television monitors, you might assume that the fish on each of the screens are separate entities. After all, because the cameras are set at different angles, each of the images will be slightly different. But as you continue to watch the two fish, you will eventually become aware that there is a certain relationship between them. When one turns, the other also makes a slightly different but corresponding turn; when one faces the front, the other always faces toward the side. If you remain unaware of the full scope of the situation, you might even conclude that the fish must be instantaneously communicating with one another, but this is clearly not the case. 
This, says Bohm, is precisely what is going on between the subatomic particles in Aspect's experiment. According to Bohm, the apparent faster-than-light connection between subatomic particles is really telling us that there is a deeper level of reality we are not privy to, a more complex dimension beyond our own that is analogous to the aquarium. And, he adds, we view objects such as subatomic particles as separate from one another because we are seeing only a portion of their reality. Such particles are not separate "parts", but facets of a deeper and more underlying unity that is ultimately as holographic and indivisible as the previously mentioned rose. And since everything in physical reality is comprised of these "eidolons", the universe is itself a projection, a hologram. 
In addition to its phantomlike nature, such a universe would possess other rather startling features. If the apparent separateness of subatomic particles is illusory, it means that at a deeper level of reality all things in the universe are infinitely interconnected.The electrons in a carbon atom in the human brain are connected to the subatomic particles that comprise every salmon that swims, every heart that beats, and every star that shimmers in the sky. Everything interpenetrates everything, and although human nature may seek to categorize and pigeonhole and subdivide, the various phenomena of the universe, all apportionments are of necessity artificial and all of nature is ultimately a seamless web. 
In a holographic universe, even time and space could no longer be viewed as fundamentals. Because concepts such as location break down in a universe in which nothing is truly separate from anything else, time and three-dimensional space, like the images of the fish on the TV monitors, would also have to be viewed as projections of this deeper order. At its deeper level reality is a sort ofsuperhologram in which the past, present, and future all exist simultaneously. This suggests that given the proper tools it might even be possible to someday reach into the superholographic level of reality and pluck out scenes from the long-forgotten past. 
What else the superhologram contains is an open-ended question. Allowing, for the sake of argument, that the superhologram is the matrix that has given birth to everything in our universe, at the very least it contains every subatomic particle that has been or will be -- every configuration of matter and energy that is possible, from snowflakes to quasars, from blue whales to gamma rays. It must be seen as a sort of cosmic storehouse of "All That Is." 
Although Bohm concedes that we have no way of knowing what else might lie hidden in the superhologram, he does venture to say that we have no reason to assume it does not contain more. Or as he puts it, perhaps the superholographic level of reality is a "mere stage" beyond which lies "an infinity of further development". 


Bohm is not the only researcher who has found evidence that the universe is a hologram. Working independently in the field of brain research, Standford neurophysiologist Karl Pribram has also become persuaded of the holographic nature of reality. Pribram was drawn to the holographic model by the puzzle of how and where memories are stored in the brain. For decades numerous studies have shown that rather than being confined to a specific location, memories are dispersed throughout the brain. 
In a series of landmark experiments in the 1920s, brain scientist Karl Lashley found that no matter what portion of a rat's brain he removed he was unable to eradicate its memory of how to perform complex tasks it had learned prior to surgery. The only problem was that no one was able to come up with a mechanism that might explain this curious "whole in every part" nature of memory storage. 
Then in the 1960s Pribram encountered the concept of holography and realized he had found the explanation brain scientists had been looking for. Pribram believes memories are encoded not in neurons, or small groupings of neurons, but in patterns of nerve impulses that crisscross the entire brain in the same way that patterns of laser light interference crisscross the entire area of a piece of film containing a holographic image. In other words, Pribram believes the brain is itself a hologram. 
Pribram's theory also explains how the human brain can store so many memories in so little space. It has been estimated that the human brain has the capacity to memorize something on the order of 10 billion bits of information during the average human lifetime (or roughly the same amount of information contained in five sets of the Encyclopaedia Britannica). 
Similarly, it has been discovered that in addition to their other capabilities, holograms possess an astounding capacity for information storage--simply by changing the angle at which the two lasers strike a piece of photographic film, it is possible to record many different images on the same surface. It has been demonstrated that one cubic centimeter of film can hold as many as 10 billion bits of information. 
Our uncanny ability to quickly retrieve whatever information we need from the enormous store of our memories becomes more understandable if the brain functions according to holographic principles. If a friend asks you to tell him what comes to mind when he says the word "zebra", you do not have to clumsily sort back through some gigantic and cerebral alphabetic file to arrive at an answer. Instead, associations like "striped", "horselike", and "animal native to Africa" all pop into your head instantly. Indeed, one of the most amazing things about the human thinking process is that every piece of information seems instantly cross- correlated with every other piece of information--another feature intrinsic to the hologram. Because every portion of a hologram is infinitely interconnected with every other portion, it is perhaps nature's supreme example of a cross-correlated system. 
The storage of memory is not the only neurophysiological puzzle that becomes more tractable in light of Pribram's holographic model of the brain. Another is how the brain is able to translate the avalanche of frequencies it receives via the senses (light frequencies, sound frequencies, and so on) into the concrete world of our perceptions. 
Encoding and decoding frequencies is precisely what a hologram does best. Just as a hologram functions as a sort of lens, a translating device able to convert an apparently meaningless blur of frequencies into a coherent image, Pribram believes the brain also comprises a lens and uses holographic principles to mathematically convert the frequencies it receives through the senses into the inner world of our perceptions. 


An impressive body of evidence suggests that the brain uses holographic principles to perform its operations. Pribram's theory, in fact, has gained increasing support among neurophysiologists. 
Argentinian-Italian researcher Hugo Zucarelli recently extended the holographic model into the world of acoustic phenomena. Puzzled by the fact that humans can locate the source of sounds without moving their heads, even if they only possess hearing in one ear, Zucarelli discovered that holographic principles can explain this ability. Zucarelli has also developed the technology of holophonic sound, a recording technique able to reproduce acoustic situations with an almost uncanny realism.

Pribram's belief that our brains mathematically construct "hard" reality by relying on input from a frequency domain has also received a good deal of experimental support. It has been found that each of our senses is sensitive to a much broader range of frequencies than was previously suspected. Researchers have discovered, for instance, that our visual systems are sensitive to sound frequencies, that our sense of smellisin part dependent on what are now called "osmic frequencies", and that even the cells in our bodies are sensitive to a broad range of frequencies. Such findings suggest that it is only in the holographic domain of consciousness that such frequencies are sorted out and divided up into conventional perceptions.

But the most mind-boggling aspect of Pribram's holographic model of the brain is what happens when it is put together with Bohm's theory. For if the concreteness of the world is but a secondary reality and what is "there" is actually a holographic blur of frequencies, and if the brain is also a hologram and only selects some of the frequencies out of this blur and mathematically transforms them into sensory perceptions, what becomes of objective reality? Put quite simply, it ceases to exist. As the religions of the East have long upheld, the material world is Maya, an illusion, and although we may think we are physical beings moving through a physical world, this too is an illusion.
We are really "receivers" floating through a kaleidoscopic sea of frequency, and what we extract from this sea and transmogrify into physical reality is but one channel from many extracted out of the superhologram. 

This striking new picture of reality, the synthesis of Bohm and Pribram's views, has come to be called the-holographic paradigm, and although many scientists have greeted it with skepticism, it has galvanized others. A small but growing group of researchers believe it may be the most accurate model of reality science has arrived at thus far. More than that, some believe it may solve some mysteries that have never before been explainable by science and even establish the paranormal as a part of nature. Numerous researchers, including Bohm and Pribram, have noted that many para-psychological phenomena become much more understandable in terms of the holographic paradigm.

In a universe in which individual brains are actually indivisible portions of the greater hologram and everything is infinitely interconnected, telepathy may merely be the accessing of the holographic level.
It is obviously much easier to understand how information can travel from the mind of individual 'A' to that of individual 'B' at a far distance point and helps to understand a number of unsolvedpuzzles in psychology.
In particular,  Stanislav Grof feels the holographic paradigm offers a model for understanding many of the baffling phenomena experienced by individuals during altered states of consciousness. In the 1950s, while conducting research into the beliefs of LSD as a psychotherapeutic tool, Grof had one female patient who suddenly became convinced she had assumed the identity of a female of a species of prehistoric reptile. During the course of her hallucination, she not only gave a richly detailed description of what it felt like to be encapsuled in such a form, but noted that the portion of the male of the species's anatomy was a patch of colored scales on the side of its head. What was startling to Grof was that although the woman had no prior knowledge about such things, a conversation with a zoologist later confirmed that in certain species of reptiles colored areas on the head do indeed play an important role as triggers of sexual arousal. The woman's experience was not unique. During the course of his research, Grof encountered examples of patients regressing and identifying with virtually every species on the evolutionary tree (research findings which helped influence the man-into-ape scene in the movie Altered States). Moreover, he found that such experiences frequently contained obscure zoological details which turned out to be accurate.
Regressions into the animal kingdom were not the only puzzling psychological phenomena Grof encountered. He also had patients who appeared to tap into some sort of collective or racial unconscious. Individuals with little or no education suddenly gave detailed descriptions of Zoroastrian funerary practices and scenes from Hindu mythology. In other categories of experience, individuals gave persuasive accounts of out-of-body journeys, of precognitive glimpses of the future, of regressions into apparent past-life incarnations.
In later research, Grof found the same range of phenomena manifested in therapy sessions which did not involve the use of drugs. Because the common element in such experiences appeared to be the transcending of an individual's consciousness beyond the usual boundaries of ego and/or limitations of space and time, Grof called such manifestations "transpersonal experiences", and in the late '60s he helped found a branch of psychology called "transpersonal psychology" devoted entirely to their study.
Although Grof's newly founded Association of Transpersonal Psychology garnered a rapidly growing group of like-minded professionals and has become a respected branch of psychology, for years neither Grof or any of his colleagues were able to offer a mechanism for explaining the bizarre psychological phenomena they were witnessing. But that has changed with the advent of the holographic paradigm.
As Grof recently noted, if the mind is actually part of a continuum, a labyrinth that is connected not only to every other mind that exists or has existed, but to every atom, organism, and region in the vastness of space and time itself, the fact that it is able to occasionally make forays into the labyrinth and have transpersonal experiences no longer seems so strange. 

The holographic paradigm also has implications for so-called hard sciences like biology. Keith Floyd, a psychologist at Virginia Intermont College, has pointed out that if the concreteness of reality is but a holographic illusion, it would no longer be true to say the brain produces consciousness. Rather, it is consciousness that creates the appearance of the brain -- as well as the body and everything else around us we interpret as physical. 
Such a turnabout in the way we view biological structures has caused researchers to point out that medicine and our understanding of the healing process could also be transformed by the holographic paradigm. If the apparent physical structure of the body is but a holographic projection of consciousness, it becomes clear that each of us is much more responsible for our health than current medical wisdom allows. What we now view as miraculous remissions of disease may actually be due to changes in consciousness which in turn effect changes in the hologram of the body. 
Similarly, controversial new healing techniques such as visualization may work so well because, in the holographic domain of thought, images are ultimately as real as "reality". 


Even visions and experiences involving "non-ordinary" reality become explainable under the holographic paradigm. In his book "Gifts of Unknown Things," biologist Lyall Watson describes his encounter with an Indonesian shaman woman who, by performing a ritual dance, was able to make an entire grove of trees instantly vanish into thin air. Watson relates that as he and another astonished onlooker continued to watch the woman, she caused the trees to reappear, then "click" off again and on again several times in succession.

Although current scientific understanding is incapable of explaining such events, experiences like this become more tenable if "hard" reality is only a holographic projection. Perhaps we agree on what is "there" or "not there" because what we call consensus reality is formulated and ratified at the level of the human unconscious at which all minds are infinitely interconnected. If this is true, it is the most profound implication of the holographic paradigm of all, for it means that experiences such as Watson's are not commonplace only because we have not programmed our minds with the beliefs that would make them so. In a holographic universe there are no limits to the extent to which we can alter the fabric of reality.

What we perceive as reality is only a canvas waiting for us to draw upon it any picture we want. Anything is possible, from bending spoons with the power of the mind to the phantasmagoric events experienced by Castaneda during his encounters with the Yaqui brujo don Juan, for magic is our birthright, no more or less miraculous than our ability to compute the reality we want when we are in our dreams.
Indeed, even our most fundamental notions about reality become suspect, for in a holographic universe, as Pribram has pointed out, even random events would have to be seen as based on holographic principles and therefore determined. Synchronicities or meaningful coincidences suddenly makes sense, and everything in reality would have to be seen as a metaphor, for even the most haphazard events would express some underlying symmetry.

Whether Bohm and Pribram's holographic paradigm becomes accepted in science or dies an ignoble death remains to be seen, but it is safe to say that it has already had an influence on the thinking of many scientists. And even if it is found that the holographic model does not provide the best explanation for the instantaneous communications that seem to be passing back and forth between subatomic particles, at the very least, as noted by Basil Hiley, a physicist at Birbeck College in London, Aspect's findings "indicate that we must be prepared to consider radically new views of reality".  

Charlie Brooker: How TV Ruined Your Life [season 1, episode 6]

Technocalyps [2006], dokumentarni film

Technocalyps, dokumentarni film o transhumanizmu iz 2006. godine. Film se može skinuti preko torenta.

Part I - TransHuman

Part II - Preparing For The Singularity

Part III - The Digital Messiah

Secret of Qigong

Secret of Qigong: 2/7, 3/7, 4/7, 5/7, 6/7, 7/7.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: Flow

Check out this link, as well as this one - there you will get additional information and resources about Flow. Click here to read an interesting interview with Dr. Csikszentmihalyi.

Adam Curtis: The Century of the Self [2002]

The Century of the Self, dokumentarni film Adama Curtisa sastavljen iz četiri epizode (4 x 60 min).

Deo I - Happiness Machines

Deo II - The Ingeneering of Consent

Deo III - There Is a Policeman Inside All Our Heads: He Must Be Destroyed

Deo IV - Eight People Sipping Wine in Kettering

Asura - Halley Road [soundtrack za "Psihologiju budućnosti" Stanislava Grofa]

Comets are.. bodies that formed at the very edge of the solar system, out beyond the orbit of Neptune, where Pluto is..
And they are the best preserved samples of the initial material that actually made the sun and earth and planets and even ourselves..

Since we've been in orbit, we've detected maybe four or five such storms..
This is by far the strongest that we've detected with Cassini..
And it's even stronger and there's more activity than the storms that were detected by the two Voyager spacecraft back in the early 1980s..

"Na jednom nivou je još uvek bio fetus koji prolazi koroz iskustvo najvećeg savršenstva i blaženstva dobre materice, ili novorođenčeta koje se sjedinjuje sa hranljivom dojkom koja daruje život. Na drugom nivou postao je čitav univerzum. Svedočio je spektaklu makrokosmosa sa bezbroj pulsirajućih galaksija. Nekada bi se nalazio izvan, gledajući ove stvari kao posmatrač; u drugim navratima postao bi one. Ovi blistavi i zapanjujući kosmički vidici bili su isprepleteni sa iskustvima podjednako čudesnog mikrokosmosa – ples atoma i molekula, zatim pojavljivanje biohemijskog sveta i pokazivanje porekla života i pojedinačnih ćelija. Osećao je da je po prvi put u svom životu iskusio univerzum kakav jeste – nepojmljiva misterija, božanska igra energije.

            Ovo bogato i kompleksno iskustvo izgledalo je da traje kao večnost. Njihao se između iskustva o samom sebi u stanju uznemirenog, obolelog fetusa i stanja blaženog i spokojnog postojanja u materici. Povremeno bi otrovni uticaji preuzeli oblik arhetipskih demona ili zlobnih stvorenja iz sveta bajki. Postao je preplavljen uvidima u vezi sa razlozima zbog kojih su deca toliko fascinirana mitskim pričama i njihovim likovima. Neki od tih uvida su bili od znatno šireg značaja. Čežnja za stanjem potpunog ispunjenja, nalik onim koja se mogu iskusiti u dobroj materici ili u mističkom ushićenju, javila se kao krajnja motivaciona sila svakog ljudskog bića. Ovu temu čežnje video je izraženu u razvoju bajke prema srećnom kraju. Video ju je revolucionarov san o utopijskoj budućnosti. Video ju je u umetnikovom nagonu za prihvatanjem i priznanjem. I video ju je u ambiciji za posedom, statusom i slavom. Postalo mu je sasvim jasno da se tu nalazio odgovor za osnovne dileme čovečanstva. Želja i potreba iza ovih poriva ne bi se mogla zadovoljiti čak ni najspektakularnijim postignućima u spoljašnjem svetu. Jedini način da se čežnja zadovolji nalazio se u ponovnom povezivanju tog mesta sa vlastitim nesvesnim. Iznenada je razumeo poruku mnogih duhovnih učitelja da je jedina revolucija koja može uspeti unutrašnja transformacija svakog ljudskog bića."

Iz knjige Stanislava Grofa, "Holotropski um". Preveo Ivan Jasiković.

Legenda o zapuštenoj bolesti

(2001-2002)

Prihvatam milorde – reče D'Artanjan –

(kad kažete dosta:

pognuću glavu i svezati jezik) –

čovek nije u stanju da se kreće misli ili govori sam od sebe,

čak s tegobom piški kaki i radi one stvari kada je loše navijen,

kada bolest iz organa izdiše,

bolest posedujući,

upravo čovek taj što mu je Otac Nebeski

kroz nozdrve uske život udahnuo,

da bi ga ovaj izdisao i izdisao i izdisao,

u ime poraza izdisao izdisao,

škrtog uvida izdisao izdisao,

u ipak izračunljivom i konačnom broju

(kroz slapove opale kose

kroz iskopnele zagrljaje)

to čudesno i nadmeno dvonožno biće

što raspravlja da li mu je misao stvarna ili nije,

ili

da postoji Nešto izvan trule hrpe,

kočije naše...

Neki su još davno naučili ljubiti mudrost,

te skovaše lepu složenicu reči grčke koristeći –

(uganuli reč na reč slavu hotevši) –

ne bi li tu ljubav imenom mogli zvati,

pa neki namerno ili slučajno joj pokazaše zadnjicu,

načinivši tako jednu sramotu više

za okoreli već rod ljudski: –

a to revnosni službenik-Satan pažljivo si u nedra beleži,

ne bi li Ocu Nebeskome

u jednakim vremenskim razmacima

na uvid i pregled podnosio.

            (Osmeh setan, želja da se bude shvaćen)

Teskosbno je mojoj duši kad sa lica tuđih čitam jezik bola i tuge,

to preplavljen je jezik bolom putenosti,

(pa namerno na pogled mrk nametnem šešir)

i sve češće posežem za onom čudesnom konopljom

koju donose naši hrabri moreplovci

iz dalekih krajeva gde još divljaci žive

što hodaju nagi i meso ljudsko jedu.

Oni nas nazivaju došljacima i čude se boji naše kože,

a ovo je jedina prava koža – kaže d'Artanjan i štipa se za obraz –

iz ove se kože ne dâ izaći – kaže d'Artanjan i trlja nadlanicu –

ova je koža i moj obraz – i štipa se za zadnjicu –

unutar ove kože se truli i huli

ili pak uzdiže do Carstva Nebeskog

u trenucima Njegove Milosti (retke).

To su – produži d'Artanjan – duhovi najtananiji

koji će pre reč da zbore nego reč da pišu,

koji će pre da pomisle nego reč da zbore,

dragi moj milorde i prijatelju ako dozvolite.

Izgovorena reč

kažem vam iskreno,

nikada ne prestaje odjekivati,

iako je ljudsko uho prestane čuti –

ona lebdi oko nas i budućih naraštaja

kojima ovaj divni svet prepuštamo.

            (Mrmlja po izboru reditelja)

Jednog će dana naučnici vešti

izmisliti aparaturu koja beleži reči

izgovorene pre dve stotine godina,

tek najhrabriji koristiće citat).

            (Pokret po izboru reditelja)

I vama je jasno :

da sam svestan koliko me gospoda salonska ceni

ili pak (gospoda salonska) mrzi

zbog onog dela gospode koja mi se ulaguje

i smeška ogavno,

a posebno zbog dama koje se oko mene tiskaju

žudeći da ih komplimentom udostojim

ili na ljubavnu igru pozovem,

pa da prijateljicama svojim preko čaja zbore.

Eto

uglavnom

čovek

voli

pažnju

i makar prividnu naklonost drugih –

pa umesto va voli ljubi i duh svoj vrlinom ukrašava,

on traći dragoceno vreme mu podareno

na prljave strasti i misli ucveljene

umesto da voli ljubi i duh svoj vrlinom ukrašava,

umesto da dubi jeca i sluh svoj opanjkava.

            (Fotelja. Cigara.)

Život je spazam odavde do večnosti,

da oči obnevide i ruke utrnu,

da ljuska od misli među đubretom svoje mesto nađe

ili – (ponovo to 'ili') –

da dobro ili zlo presahnu potpuno

i nadgrobnu ploču našeg iskustva obrišu.

Nego da vam ispričam nešto drugo ili čak i treće,

jer ne bih da uzrujavam se mnogo –

sa gospodom vrlo finom uskoro bilijar igram

jer u toj izuzetnoj igri

svaka lopta treba svoju rupu naći.

(Tad se vrli d'Artanjan značajno nakašlja)

Bila jednom jedna žena što je prodavala hleb.

Ona skine jedan omot i postavi ga na drvenu tezgu

i stade radoznalo posmatrati taj hleb,

koji beše svež i smeđ i lepomirisan,

zaista divan

divan

ideja o hlebu,

i ako bi ga koščatim prstom ubola,

rskava bi se kora raspukla u slavu žetve hrani.

U međuvremenu je takođe jedna žena dobila vesti od najmlađeg sina

(a imala ih je četiri svaki viši od onog drugog).

Najstariji je smaknut dvobojskim metkom piše najmlađi,

najstariji i još sa užasom dodajem:

koji je u međuvremenu potrošio nekoliko srebrnjaka

u memljivom burdelju na sredovečnu ženu

što je svojoj kćeri ispričala kako posprema kod advokata

ili kuva ručak onom nepokretnom matorom gunđalu

pa tako novac u kuću donosi.

Osuđujem brata najmlađeg na težak nespokoj jer

1)      najniže nagone zadovoljava

dok bi duša njegova

beskrajnom tugom trebalo

skrhana da bude;

2)      srebrnjake na blud troši

dok majka sanja o rskavom hlebu,

baš onakvom

kakvog je žena prva na tezgi razmotala;

itd. itd. – ali to se uglavnom odražava i na druge đogađaje –

jer talasanje mora i lepi penušavi mehur koji nam leti gladi tela

u potpunoj su ravnoteži sa gonorejom pijanog mornara.

Mi se – možda je neko rekao nekad –

nastavlja d'Artanjan –

uglavnom razmenjujemo pridevima

(kao u stara dobra vremena sekira za dva ili tri dabrova krzna)

i mislim da bogobojažljivost

treba da se pokaže u jednom manje odurnom ruhu.

Vi milorde jednom morate svratiti do mene

i pogledati sve one masne knjige koje krase moje police

i zbog toga živeo veliki Johanes Gutenberg

štampar iz lepog grada Majnca.

Milorde shvatate – žena prodaje hleb

seljak njivu ore teškim plugom marvu tera prutom

a ženi strada u dvoboju najstariji sin

dok seljak ne znam ni ja šta sve ne radi

advokat ručak nepokretno gunđalo

i bezbroj razloga da kaže se i tako dalje...

jer lako upoznam nepodnošljivost

kada svetovnost iz kala ili jendeka

mojim mislima jezdi.

I – produži veznikom d'Artanjan – kćer vam je lepo stasala

rado bih je opipavao

i sisao prste njenih ljupkih stopala

nežno bih joj milovao malene grudi

i radio neke stvari o kojima mi je još lane

grof fon Kunilingen pričao.

ELEGANTNO OBUČENI GOSPODIN (odela krojenog po merilima dvadesetog veka) dotrčava odnekud, čela orošenog znojem:

»Nervni slom kolač bonbon

  baš prikladno!

  baš prikladno!

  O zaboga pa ja buncam!

  Reči ispadaju nekontrolisano

  Užasno to je čujte samo –

  bol pojmim

  pojmim smrad

  i – rukama prekriva usta, ne bi li sprečio sebe da izgovori nešto, čuje se samo mumlanje pod šakom –

  da samo znate šta sam izgovorio upravo

  pomislili biste da mi u glavi nije zdravo.

  Uz to vas u mislima viteže prekidam

  al' oprostite mi jer u duši se kidam.

  Knedla mi u grlu i tresu se ruke

  od tihog se zvuka trzam kao od kakve buke

  smilujte se jer iz moje odvratne guke

  koja se u mom mozgu udomila

  pršti gorak i smradan gnoj

  pomagajte pomagajte prijatelju moj!

  Voleo bih da više razumeti mogu

  te da se nađem na spisku Milosti Bogu

  sve mi je (što se kaže) jedna linija ravna

  tuga bol i sećanja na dešavanja davna

  i kada pomislim da lebdi u meni

  faustovska priroda jedna

  burna al' nežna kao devojka čedna

  ja se takve misli postidim

  jer kao da sam izgovorio svetogrđe neko

  mereći sebe sa prirodom plemenitom.«

Prema njemu se naglo okreće  D'ARTANJAN:

»Bon soir bon soir

  ja primedbe neke imam

  rekao bih rečenica par

  i udaljio se iz dometa očiju ljudi

  jer mi se od pogleda mnoštva neprijatnost neka budi

  eto kada sam već mogao ovamo da se cimam

  rado ću vam dati neki savet na dar.

  Nadam se da ćete prihvatiti bar nešto

  i u skorije vreme izvući se vešto

  iz ove nezgode koje vas naglo snađe

  pa da prestanete mučiti sebe uspomenama

  na dane slađe.«

ELEGANTNO OBUČENI GOSPODIN:

»Značilo bi mi mnogo viteže iskustvo vaše

  jer mene na ovome svetu mnoge stvari straše.«

GLAS IZA PARAVANA:

»Opsesivno-kompulzivna neuroza

  opaka stvar

  lako se čovek sroza.«

D'ARTANJAN:

»Ali vi sa Faustom dragim uporediste sebe

  čoveka koji za strah ne zna već izgubi volju da grebe

  za saznanjima ili uživanjima čula

  tako da vaše poređenje je obična nula.«

ELEGANTNO OBUČENI GOSPODIN:

»Ali ja sam pročitao pravu hrpu knjiga!«

D'ARTANJAN:

»Pa šta kad mnoga sigurno beše ljiga!

  Sigurno neki umovi kojima se sudaraju misli

  a nogom u život kada kroče

  provedu se kao kerovi pokisli

  pa jedan stane mrzeti čoveka

  dok vaš drugi mudrac ceo dan rakiju loče

  pa kad se dvojica takvih sretnu

  eto odmah teorija novih hrpa

  još žešće krenu udarati u misao setnu

  gospodin bačva i gospodin krpa.«

D'ARTANJAN mu prilazi i govori tiho, osvrćući se oko sebe, kao, da ga publika ne čuje:

»Vi ste možda čovek fin

  vidim košulja kravata sako

  na cipelama blista imalin

  al' ja moram govoriti ovako

  strogo i odlučno

  mada je i meni mučno.«

ELEGANTNO OBUČENI GOSPODIN klima zbunjeno glavom, a D'ARTANJAN se vraća na mesto na kome je do maločas stajao.

D'ARTANJAN:

»U vama vidim bolesnog čoveka«

ELEGANTNO OBUČENI GOSPODIN:

»Recite zaboga ima li toj bolesti leka?

  Kako se uopšte ta bolest zove

  jel' ona spada među bolesti nove

  ili je vama dobro znana

  ta moja zdravstvena mana?«

 

D'ARTANJAN:

»Zaboga što ste se uplašili tako

  vidim da sa vama neće biti lako.

  Pametan se čovek lako od te bolesti razboli.

  Eto na primer moj vrli zemljak Dekar

  nesumnjivo blistav um dakle nije neki čmar

  i bolestan od te bolesti beše a da to nije znao

  pa tako sa širenjem zaraze godinama nije stao.

  Ali čim osećate muku znači da jedan deo vas se buni.

            prilazi mu, stavlja mu dlanove na obraz i viče:

  Zaražena glavo bolest gnusnu odmah pljuni.«

            Gledaju se neko vreme. D'Artanjan kao da nešto iščekuje radoznalo posmatrajući elegantnog gospodina koji je zbunjen.

D'ARTANJAN:

»Pa da li vam je bolje?«

ELEGANTNO OBUČENI GOSPODIN:

»I pored moje dobre volje

  promenu ja ne osećam.«

D'ARTANJAN:

»Očigledno lečenje ne mogu obaviti sam.

  Bogami kod vas je bolest uzela maha

  ali samo polako moliću bez straha.

  Ima jedan lekar toliko dobar koliko pije

  ali sile prirode oko malog prsta vije

  taj Švajcarac nabusit i ljut

  pred kojim bolest drhti kao prut.

            viče:

  Teofraste, Teofraste, prijatelju moj!«

PARACELZUS dolazi, vuče ogroman mač za sobom:

»Evo me samo tiho glava boli joj!«

D'ARTANJAN:

»Teofraste od Hoenhajma prijatelju stari

  dođi ovamo i bolest jednu nasamari.«

Paracelzus dolazi na scenu, ne bi li pokušao izlečiti gospodina koji je elegantno obučen. Paracelzus se neko vreme šepuri pred publikom. Zatim, čineći to tako da publika može jasno videti šta on to radi, Paracelzus iz drške mača vadi beli prah i sipa ga u čašicu koju mu je dao D’Artanjan, prethodno je, naravno izvaduvši iz džepa pantalona. Onda Paracelzus pljune u čašu i promeša kažiprstom.

PARACELZUS publici:

“Ovo je prah koga sam spravio skoro

  za jednog bogatog gospodina jer sam mor’o

  i paru neku da zaradim,

  iz dugova da se vadim,

  jerbo sam na kocki izgubio parâ dosta

 da mi samo za hranu i neko piće osta’.

 Gospodine, Vas spopade gavran što razum ometa

 poznat u kabali k’o Arab Zarak – njegova ste meta.”

ELEGANTNO OBUČEN GOSPODIN udaljava se od grupe i približava se publici:

Već godinama neprijateljski elementi šuruju.

            preti pesnicom

Svi su protiv mene

već čitav svet mi je leđa okrenuo

a sada se još sa samim sobom zavadih.




Copyright 2002.
Anaksimandros.